Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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