Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Girls should come with a carfax report
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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