Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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