i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
