I think I am morally bankrupt
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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