I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
