Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
