I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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