ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
