He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm đđ»đ
We are so blessed
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I know youâre not my dad, but youâre someoneâs dad. Youâre also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Fatherâs Day
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