I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
