I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
