absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
