I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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