haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
