I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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