I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
