Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
