i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
