Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
