It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
