i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
