Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
