Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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