thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
