I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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