I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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