I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
