I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
