I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
