this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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