I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
