Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
