What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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