Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
