I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
