I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
