Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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