How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
