I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
