Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
