This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
