Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
