Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I currently don't understand fingers.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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