that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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