Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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