So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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