I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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