Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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