I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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