you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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