dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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